In Week 9 I will address the Secondary student body about self-discipline and its relation to wearing a school uniform.
What is self discipline?
Raising Teens Today describes self discipline as:
“...the ability to control your feelings and actions: to make yourself do things that should be done, to set goals and stick with them, to overcome weaknesses and to pursue what you think is right despite any distractions or temptations that might tempt you to abandon them.”
Throughout early childhood, it is parents and other such figures of authority, who take on the role of discipling the child. This includes setting boundaries, values, routines, and structures in place.
Why is self-discipline important for our teenagers?
Teens face a range of situations where they are challenged to make decisions. We want them to make choices that enable them to lead healthy, happy lives. As their independence grows, so does the complexity of the decision making environment.
Consider this birthday party analogy:
When our children are very young, we attend birthday parties with them. We chat with other parents whilst monitoring our children’s behaviour, ensuring they play nicely, don’t eat too much junk food, wear their hat etc, and we redirect them if needed. We provide the structure for their behaviour.
In the upper years of primary school, we might drop our child off at the party knowing the birthday child’s parent will be there to supervise. There is a shift to the child regulating their own behaviour whilst still having an adult to oversee and redirect as needed.
As teenagers, birthday parties often have less direct supervision. While an adult may be present in the house, they may not be in the same room with the children for much of the time. The child (teenager) has the majority of responsibility to regulate their own behaviour.
This regulation of behaviour is a form of self-discipline. As the influential adults in our children’s lives, it is our role to develop their self-discipline so that when we are not with them they make good choices. Continuing with the party analogy, consider the choices your child may be faced with at a teenage party. Do they have the self-discipline and self-regulation to make good choices when their peers may not be?
How does this relate to wearing a uniform?
While there are many benefits to wearing a uniform: a sense of belonging, increasing equity etc, wearing a uniform helps develop a sense of self-discipline. Students have a structure they must follow (which uniform items to wear on which days) and they are responsible for making the choice about how they present themselves. Knowing what they are required to wear and wearing it the correct way, requires self-discipline. Ensuring they have the correct earrings for example, and not just the pair they want to wear, is a form of self-discipline.
For some students, wearing the uniform correctly can be a challenge. It is often these children who will benefit the most from practicing self-discipline in small ways (such as wearing the uniform correctly) so that when they are faced with major situations (peer pressure at parties, reckless behaviour etc), they are able to exhibit the self-discipline needed to keep themselves safe.
For ideas on how to develop your child’s self discipline, visit the following websites:
Helping Children Develop Self-Discipline - Thriving Kids Connection
17 Self-Discipline Exercises to Build Your Self-Control Muscle
Discipline strategies for pre-teens and teenagers
Mrs Fiona Stevens - Head of Secondary
